Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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