Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
