I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
