I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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