I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She even gives head with a lisp.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
