Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
