No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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