She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
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Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
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He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize