Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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