How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
