There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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