Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize