Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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