i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
