Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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