u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
