he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
