so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
