I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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