i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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