Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
where am i from again
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
