What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
