why do cheetos always look like penises
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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