It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
