so explain again why im purple
no
Jerry, you need to find god
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
