Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
