Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
