He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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