He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
