i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
