Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
