Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
