It's like God shit irony all over that family
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
