I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
