i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
