At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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