i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
