I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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