Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
