Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
