Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
3pm strippers are depressing
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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