break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
