I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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