Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She bit a glass in half.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize