it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
