I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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