Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
