Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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