if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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