I just made out with a guy for $7.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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