I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
