Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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