Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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