i think my tv is drunk
just come out here and I will go home with you...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
