Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The uberlube is also flammable
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
