don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize