can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize