I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.