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• (585): View more from New York

  He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.

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• (646): View more from New York

  HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.

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• (209): View more from California

  I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.

  (1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

  While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome

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