Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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