You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..