So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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