I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
