Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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