So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
