Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
