I murdered the dance floor call the cops
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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