I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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