theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
