So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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